Funny Stuff

I’m working hard to get some more posts together for the series, but in the mean time I thought you might like a good laugh.  Please go here, and read about what happened when Rushdie’s Knighthood caused a Titles race between Rushdie and Osama.  I promise you won’t be disappointed, unless you are a Osama fan, and even then you may find it extremely funny.  Make sure you read the comments. 

The Women With Mustaches Who Will Kill The Mahdi 1

When I saw this discussion I knew you would want to see it too, since we are on the subject of the Mahdi. It is completely out of order, I know, but couldn’t resist putting it up. It was taken from a Shiite chat room. At the bottom of the post will be some questions for my Muslim readers.

Question:

OK people, not sure about exactly what will happen after Imam Mehdi arrives, but it is said that Imam Mahdi will eventually be a shaheed. Imam Mehdi will be killed by a women with a moustache.
I have been told that Ayatollah Behjat has said that the women has been born few weeks ago. Can anyone confirm this? Ayatollah Behjat has a reputation of seeing the unknown, and has great respect.
Is the time coming near for the arrival?!?

Anyone with info reply to this post.

Answer#1…

Ayatollah Behjat (HA) is among the Greatest ‘Urefa of our time.
As you progress towards Allah and become His intimate, He lifts the veils of Unseen and shares His secrets with you.
Once Ayatollah Behjat (HA) was delivering 2 lectures at the same time, at 2 different places !
What you speak of now, Once around 2-3 years ago or so, Ayatollah Behjat (HA) was giving a lecture to his students. Then he suddenly started to cry, the students got scared but were to embarrased to ask why. After the session one of his closest disciples stepped forth and asked why his master started to cry just like that, whereupon he answered that as he was teaching he had a vision where he saw a jewish girl who just had been born in Isfahan, who would be the killer of Imam Mahdi (A)

Answer#2…

that happened like 3 or 4 years ago, not a few weeks ago. AndI that thing about the moustache is new. It might be true and it might be false.

Answer#3…

i heard the mostache womans name will be MALIHA
where i live,ive seen women growing mostaches(sry if its the wrong spelling)

Answer#4…

Can anyone elaborate? I havent heard that he will die

Answer#5…

ive heard this prophesy alot for a long time……..her name will be Maliha(astaghfirrilha)

Answer#6…

Yea i have heard that too…she would be a jew and her name would be either maliha or sa’eeda…And I am not sure , (Allah forgive me if I say something wrong) she would kill the imam after ruj’a..I have also heard that it would be a time when even iblees would have been defeated by imam-e-zaman and the rest of the imams, and she would be the only creature on earth….but again, I do not have any authentic source to support my point of view. And most shia ulema say that it is not wise to inquire about the details of what will happen after zahoor, because we dont know much…there are ahadith allright but we really dont know much details…

Answer#7 and in my opinion the smartest question asked….

even though Ayatollah Behjat (ha) is a very respected and noble man,i thought visions like these were only given to Prophets and Imams……..could any1 please shed light on this

I couldn’t find where that question was ever answered. The conversation took place in April of 2003. I am not putting it up to laugh, although it is somewhat amusing and we have been into some heavy stuff. But I have the same question that the last person gave. If we look at the definition of Prophecy it says it is the divine gift of speaking the truth, especially about the future. One who speaks prophecy is called a prophet. Now in Christianity there was never a ‘cut off’ on prophecy or messages from God, but in Islam, it is my understanding that that’s a different story all together. So if one of my Muslim readers can answer the question I would appreciate it. Especially if you are a Shiite Muslim.

The content of the conversation then went on to discuss the signs of the end times, which I am also putting up as some of them are different than the ones we have already gone over.

a.. Knowledge will finish in Najaf and the centre will move to Qum.Many ulema have been imprisoned and killed in Najaf. As a result, we
have seen in the past 100 years that the centre of ilm is moving
towards Qum.

b.. Baghdad will be extremely modern and will be full of vices and evils. As a result of this, an adhaab of a dark storm will be sent upon the people. It was mentioned on TV that Baghdad experienced such a dark storm, which covered the area for three days that nothing could be seen. It was a storm that broke a record of past decades.

c.. Earth shattering explosives will destroy Baghdad.d.. Destruction of Baghdad will come from air. Did that mean
Airplanes? e.. Baghdad will be occupied by people from different nations.
Today, Americans and Britons have occupied Baghdad.f.. It has been narrated by Masoom that AlQaim (atfs) will not re appear till a seventh door has been made in The Masjid of Kufa.Masjid Al Kufa had 6 doors. Once Saddam went there and it was very crowded. 3 doors had been opened. He ordered for all 6 doors to be opened. Then he looked around and said that the wall in one area was very long without any door. He ordered a door to be put there. THUS, THE SEVENTH DOOR HAS ALREADY BEEN PUT THERE.

Want more ?

1. The Jews will reach a spot in Iraq (around Karbala it is) called Forat, I think it is a river (From jeum al-Khalas)

2. Sheikh Kurani has said that all the signs, except the 6 major which are bound to happen, have already happened, and we await the other ones to happen insh’Allah.

3. a Man from Qom will araise who will pull people to him like iron, and he will be the vanguard and bring back Islam on new (making it alive again) – Imam Khomeini ® perhaps?

4. A man by the Name of Seyyed Khorasani will battle against the Infidels for 7 years with 70’000 warriors, and then hand over the banner to Imam Mahdi (A). Imam Mahdi (A) will greet him and stretch forth his right hand to shake Seyyed Khorasani’s hand, but he will reply with the left, when poeple ask why they will be told his right hand is Shaheed…

Also I’ve heard his name is to be Ali Hossein or something…
(Rings a bell upon Imam Khamenei (HA), who is from Khorasani, his name is Ali Husseini al-Khamenei, and his Right Side and Hand is martyred becase of the assassination attempt by Munafeqine Khalq to blow him up). Be prepared with the Sword of your Hearts, and lets do the Revolution before Imam Mahdi (A) comes, if you wish to be among his sincere devotees, as reliance on one man is wrong, rather we all have the Qaem within us, its about using this power and force and we can accomplish this ourselves.In Bihar Al Anwar(I Think), the hadith from our Imam says ” A man from our descendent(Sayyid) whose name will be similiar with the name of Prophet Isa(Jesus) will rise from Qum “Imam Khomeini(ra) First name was ROUHULLAH(Spirit of Allah)****
Prophet Jesus(as) was refered as ROUHULLAH(spirit of God) in the Holy Book

QUOTE
the author of ‘eqdud-durar’ in section one, chapter four narrates from ‘al-fatan’ of hafiz abu-abdullah na’eem-ibn-hemmad and he, from yazid-ibn-khalil asadi who said: ‘i was in the presence of imam muhammad baqir (a.s.). he mentioned two of the signs which would occur before the emergence of mahdi and which has not yet been witnessed (right from the time of fall of adam till now). one sign is this that there shall occur an eclipse of the sun on 15th of ramadhan and the moon too shall be eclipsed at the end of ramadhan.a person said: ‘o son of messenger of Allah! it is not as you say. rather the sun will be eclipsed at the end of the month of ramadhan and the moon will be eclipsed during the middle of the month.
imam baqir (a.s.) said: the one who says these words is knowing better (than you) that right from the time of adam’s fall till today these two signs have not occurred…….

the author of es’aaf-ul-raghaben’ too has narrated the same tradition

sayed khorasani

QUOTE
the author of ‘eqdud-durar’ in chapter five narrates from hafiz abu abdullah na’eem – ibn -hemaad who narrates from sa’eed-ibn- musayyeb that the messenger of Allah (s.a.w.a.)said:

‘a person from bani-abbass shall emerge from the east and whatever Allah wishes will be established accordingly. afterwards, men with small black flags will rise and will battle out with the offsprings of abu sufyan. they will prepare the ground for the obedience and submission of mahdi.in the same chapter of the afore-said book, its author narrates from na’eem-ibn-hemaad (from his book ‘fatan’) that muhammad-ibn-hanafiya said: ‘the people of the flag will emerge from khorasan. afterwards people of another flag with white will rise. a man from bani-tamim called as tamim-ibn-saleh will face them…. it will be then that people would seek and desire for mahdi. again, in the same chapter of the same book, its author narrates from na’eem-ibn-hemaad and he from shareey-ibn-abdullah rashid-ibn-sa’ad and hamza-ibn-habib as such:‘the people of the east will swear allegiance to a person from bani-hashim who shall emerge with the army of khorasan. a man from bani-tamim will face them…. if mountains confront him, he will destroy them. later he will encounter the army of sufyani and will defeat them. fierce battle will take place with them and he will kill them. he will expel them from one place to another until he will defeat them in iraq. thereafter an incident shall occur between them as a result of which sufyani will gain victory and the hashimi man will escape towards mecca and tamim-ibn-saleh (who is one of the leaders of the army of hashimi) will escape towards baitul-muqaddas. when mahdi shall reappear, the hashimi man too will emerge.*Khorasan is Iran

I am terribly sorry for stealing this thread But here are signs of Zohoor of our Imam traditions have come down about the signs of mahdi’s emergence and the events which would occur before his uprising and the evidences which would be discovered before his emergence. they are as such:

(1) sufyani’s revolt,
(2) killing of hasani,
(3) discord amongst bani-abbass about possession of kingdom
(4) eclipse of the sun during mid-shaban
(5) unusual eclipse of the moon during the end of shaban contrary to astronomies calculations. the moon will not be eclipsed but during the thirteenth, fourteenth or fifteenth of the month. the moon will be eclipsed at the time when the sun and the moon would be facing each other in a special form.the eclipse of the sun will not occur but on the twenty-seventh, twenty-eight or twenty-ninth of the month. the sun will be eclipsed at the time when it comes close to the moon in a special form

(6) rising of the sun from the west,
(7) killing of seventy pious people (3) killing
(9) destruction of the wall of the mosque of kufa,
(10) advancement of the holders of black flags from khorasan
(11) yamani’s revolt
(12) maghrabi’s revolt in egypt and becoming the ruler of syri
(13) descencion of turks in an island
(14) the coming of romans in rumalah
(15) the rising of a star in the east which would be like a sparkling moon
(16) that star would bend and break into two in such a manner that they would come close to each other

(17) a redness will appear in the sky and it will cover its surrounding
(18) a fire would appear throughout the east and it would remain so for three or seven days
(19) arabs would set free their rein
(20) arabs would become owners of cities
(21) arabs would exit from the rule of iranian kings
(22) the inhabitants of egypt would kill their ruler and his commands (23) syria would be destroyed and three flags will advance towards it
(24) the flags of qais and arab would advance towards egypt
(25) engraved flags would advance towards khorasan
(26) the entry of some arabs in the outskirts of hirah
(27) the coming of black flags from the east
(28) a split shall occur in euphrates as a result of which its water would flow on the roads of kura
(29) sixty liars will emerge where each of them will claim prophethood for themselves
(30) twelve persons from the progeny of abu-talib would revolt and each of them would claim imamate for themselves(31) a dignified person from the followers of bani-abbass will get drowned near the bridge of karkh in baghdad
(32) a black wind will blow in baghdad
(33) an earthquake shall occur in baghdad where a greater portion of the city will collapse
(34) fear will encompass the inhabitants of iraq
(35) death will swiftly overtake the people of iraq
(36) the people of iraq will face deficience in their property and fruit(37) locusts will appear during the normal season as well as during off-season and they will get attracted to plants and cereals
(38)the agriculture output of the people will be poor
(39) discord will arise amongst non-arabs and they will shed blood of one another
(40) slaves shall disobey their master and will kill them.

(41) after that, it would rain successively for twenty-four times. the earth would become alive after its death and would throw out its treasures. at that time, all types of calamities will be kept away from mahdi’s believers. at that moment they will realize that mahdi has emerged in mecca. as a result, they will move towards mecca for assisting hazrat and the same can be seen in the traditions.

I could go on, but that is enough for this post. Besides from here they went into how they must all learn to fight as they will be required to go to war with the Mahdi, which we will be getting to. How many different things can you find in regards to what we have already covered. Actually, it might be easier to find how many that do. Obviously we aren’t done with the series yet so there are plenty of things to go over, but we have pretty much covered the signs that lead to the coming of the Mahdi. There seems to be a fare bit of confusion at least within some Muslim circles.

The Shiite Muslims that were having this conversation made mention of the Sunni’s saying: “the sunni hadith seem to speak more of the coming of the dajjal. which relates to the coming of the Imam but they don’t seem to focus on the latter much (I guess that’s obvious, they barely know who to expect).”

I don’t mean to be too critical but it appears at least to me, that the Shiites don’t know what to expect either. Why else would there be so many different opinions?? I am a novice when it comes to Islam, but in my research for this series, I have seen plenty of contradiction within the same sects. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve also seen agreement, but something doesn’t smell right. Please Please Please, if there is a Shiite Muslim reading this, please comment and tell us your opinion. Also, any other Muslim, please give your opinion.

As I have already stated, there are those that rely, only on the Quran, and as far as one individual, I will be deadicating at least one post just for him.

I’m sorry these posts are so long, but since I am only putting the long ones up Monday Wednesday and Friday I guess you could read half on one day and the other half the next lol.

The Coming Utopia??

I’ve pointed out some of this before, but when I found this, I just had to share it with you. I’ve said many times what would happen if Islamist/Jihadist get their way… ENJOY!!! Islamic Utopia??  

In the year 3000, we will live in the Dar-ul-Aman ruled by a pious Khalifa and surrounded by the bounty our Lord promised us:

• All men will be freed from the curse of razor-burns that has plagued mankind for centuries.
  
• The women, cloaked in tent-like burqas (veils) will be protected from the sun and their complexions will blossom without help from Este Lauder.
  
• The faithful will never again have to suffer just because the singular wife has a headache – they will be able to choose from a harem of four plus forty.
  
• Children will not have to struggle with thirty textbooks and useless subjects like biology and European History – all they will need to do is “memorize one book, which holds all the answers”. (Quran)
  
• The state will provide free entertainment every Friday in the form of lashings, beheadings and stonings – G-rated fun for the whole family.
  
• We won’t have to keep track of the Bank holidays, as all banks will be shut down once we do away with the curse of currency and go back to the blessing of barter trade.
  
• Once the decadent internet is outlawed and the ISPs shut down, we will be spared the arbitrary pricing and bad service from the likes of AOL and @home.
  
• Men will have more time for spiritual cleansing rites once the women are children are banished to the harem after the Majlis-I-Shoora passes the “Seldom Seen Never Heard” law.
  
• Members of the Majlis will be able to consume mass quantities of halwa (fattening sweets) unfettered by the unislamic tie and belt.
  
• No more traffic jams and pollution once we go back to riding camels and donkeys to uphold the Sunnah.
  
• No more load-shedding once we harness the power of the jinns to produce zillions of megawatts in the Hazrat Suleiman Jinn Power Plant (HSJPP) – and to heck with the HUBCO!
  
• As for the dastardly Indians, they won’t have the nerve to bother us once we have raised a few squadrons of Ababil (myth: birds who killed elephants by dropping pebbles from their beaks) and learned the art of parting the Ravi (a river in Indo Pakistan Sub Continent).
  
• Once we have reached the required level of piety, we shall dine on Manna (Quail) and Salwa (another pre cooked divine food) from that big kitchen in the sky – who needs McDonalds and KFC.
  
• The faithful will be spared the ignominy of buying liquor licenses from their non-Muslim “friends” because most be banished to Dar-ul-Harb for refusing to pay Jiziya.
  
• We will be free from the curse of the blood-sucking lawyers once we establish the quick-and-dirty Islamic Justice system, which will be merged with the Ministry of Sports and Entertainment.
  
• Government expenditure on education will be reduced by firing the likes of Dr. Hoodbhoy and merging the Quaid-i-Azam University with the one and only IU, whose Rector will also serve as the Imam (cleric) of the Faisal Masjid and head up the Institute of Research on Islamic Foods (in the pre-Salwa era.)
  
• Islamic Research will finally solve the mysteries of the Composition of Milk and discover the cure for hoof-and -mouth disease (all hidden in the Quran as the faithful have claimed for centuries.
  
• My brother-in-law, an under-employed physician and cricket purist, will be able to moonlight at the stadium amputating arms that chuck and beheading physicists who dare to think.
   
• So, don’t let the lackeys of the West, the heretics and Hypocrites discourage you from following the True Path, the Sirat-ul-Mustaqeem, which will lead to salvation and glory for the Ummah. Those who stray from this path will suffer the ignominious 62-7 fate of the Miami Dolphins.

No disrespect intended.  As most of you know, I try not to disrespect anyone’s religion, but there was too much important stuff in the above info to ignore it all together. 

I would like to ask my Muslim friends and readers if this is how you would like to live??  Because this is only a small example of how the Islamist/Jihadist want to rule the world.   

I realize that different parts of the world allow different things in regards to ‘punishment’ for ‘criminal’ acts. But to me and most Westerners this is a bit over the top. Not to mention the fact that what the Islamist considers ‘criminal’ may be far out of line to even the most devout Muslim. I’ve pointed out how it could be different here…

https://eaglespearlsofwisdom.wordpress.com/2007/08/04/islamist-principle-of-repayment-in-kind/

And I continue to point out that it would be terrible if we did that type of thing to Muslims, so Muslims should think it would be terrible if they did it to us. Do you agree?? Are you trying to do any thing about it?? Do you talk to your Muslim brothers and sisters about this subject and how it is wrong?? I am interested to see what you have to say on this subject.

P.S.  To my readers, sorry if the text cames out small.  Seems like wordpress has a mind of it’s own, everytime I preview the post, it looks different, so who knows how it will look when I post it LOL…

http://www.homa.org/Details.asp?ContentID=2137352755&TOCID=2083225348